An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman each order a Guinness in a pub. Upon being served,
each finds a fly in their beer. Repulsed, the Englishman sends his back. The Scotsman gently
the fly out of his mug and begins drinking. The Irishman, carefully lifts the fly up by its wings
and screams, "Spit it out! Spit it out!"
An Irishman walks into a bar and asks for two beers. He then pulls a small green-skinned man out of his pocket and puts him on the counter.
As he’s drinking one drink and the green man is drinking the other, an Englishman down the bar who has had a few too many drinks says, “Hey, what’s that little green thing down there?”
The green man runs down the bar gives the Englishman a
raspberry, “SPLBLBLBLT!,” right in the face and runs back to
The Englishman mops himself off and says to the Irishman,
“Hey, what is that thing, anyway?”
The Irishman replies, “Have some respect. He’s a leprechaun.”
“Oh, all right.” the Englishman says sullenly. They all go
back to drinking beer.
An hour or so later, the Englishman is really plastered.
“Boy, that leprechaun sure is an ugly little *******!” he says.
The leprechaun runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a
raspberry again, “SPLBLBLBLBT!”
This time the Englishman is really mad!
“Tell that leprechaun that if he does that again I’ll Chop his
willie right off, I will!” he shouts.
“You can’t do that,” says the Irishman. “Leprechauns don’t
“How do they pee, then?” asks the Englishman.
“They don’t,” says the Irishman. “They go SPLBLBLBLBT.”
Happy St. Patrick Day