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    Punderful !!!


    Posts : 7281
    Join date : 2014-03-07
    Location : Toronto, Ontario, Canada

    Punderful !!! Empty Punderful !!!

    Post by orphaned Sat Dec 13, 2014 12:30 am


    sent those wonderful puns of yours to a few friends >>>> and got THESE back !!!

    Just playing with a few words. Stimulate your taught processes ! Tautologies (sort of) for the lexicons out there !

    . A bicycle can't stand alone; it is too tired.

    . A will is a dead giveaway.

    . Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

    . A backward poet writes inverse.

    . A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

    . When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

    . The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered. 

    . You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

    . He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

    . A calendar's days are numbered.

    . A boiled egg is hard to beat.

    . He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

    . The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.

    . Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

    .  When you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall.

    . If you jump off a bridge in Paris, you are in Seine.

    . When she saw her first strands of grey hair,  she thought she'd dye.

    . Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

    . Acupuncture: a jab well done.

    . Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.

    . The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Circumference. 
      He acquired his size from too much pi.

    .  I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an
       optical Aleutian.

    . She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

    .  A rubber band was confiscated from algebra class because it was a   
                weapon of  math disruption.

    .  No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

    .  A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

    .  Two silk worms had a race.  They ended up in a tie.

    .  A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.  The police are looking into it.

    .  Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

    .  I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.  And then it hit me.

    .  A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said: "Keep Off The Grass."

    .   A  child swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.  When his          
         grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, the nurse said,   "No change yet."

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