Textrekkie's Poetry

textrekkie wrote:For autum_leaf (to the tune of My Way)

And now, the time is here, I'm recognized for evisceration.
My friends, I'll say it clear, the thought of blood, sets my heart racin'.
I've left a trail of gore in every thread throughout this pond-way.
And more, much more than this, I'm fond of fillets.

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew,
When I had to gut more than just a few.
But through it all, there was no doubt,
I ate it up, spit nothing out.
Let the record show, I deal killer blows--and use a chainsaw.

textrekkie wrote:Ode to MCF 7

'Twas the day of Thanksgiving and all through the house
my husband was grumbling (and being a louse)
The turkey was waiting for stuffing of bread
while DH kept asking "are you wrong in your head?"

For you see, gentle reader, I was at my "machine"
looking for objects that couldn't be seen.
For a new game possessed me, took over my soul
and I had been playing for hours untold.

It's true, it bewitched me, to this I confess,
to try to deny it would just make me less.
But I'd waited a lifetime, or so it had seemed
for MCF 7 and it's Skulls of Thirteen.

Oh, Solice had taunted, and picman joined in,
while Okee, Imby, Arno and Donau just grinned.
Giving unsolvable riddles and giving us clues
While all the time laughing as we came unglued.

Then finally the day came, November two-four!
I started playing, while my husband still snored.
My eyes were wide open, no need for caffeine.
I started downloading, barely stifling my screams.

When the game finally started, I settled right in,
determined to finish in record time, friend.
When all of a sudden I beheld such a puzzle
In all of my years I've never been so befuzzled.

Call Phatkhat, call Bella, call Princess and Impy
Call Prpldva, Rabbit, Boopers and Genki.
"I need help here, do you hear me? Help here I say.."
"There's something I'm missing...Hint Button?? NO WAY!!"

For I don't use hint buttons or strategy guides,
I've got nothing against them--it's not that I'm wise.
It's just that it wrecks the achievements, you see
And if I haven't yet mentioned, I'm way OCD.

So I sat and I sat, looking lost and morose
While my turkey was sitting there, waiting to roast
Not one person answered my lonely PM's
for they were all playing-- or just sleeping in.

When suddenly all of the lights in my head
turned on all at once, there was no spider web!
I solved that darn puzzle, not really sure how
I think it was divine intervention somehow.

I finished the game--I'm finished right now!
I finished in 26 hours....(oh wow!)
But too late to cook turkey, the house dark and drear
Hubby left me a note but I won't quote it here.

So I crawled into bed, the lights were all low
and poor hubby's tummy was rum-ble-ing so
But I heard a strange voice as I lay there ashamed,
It was picman...he said, "Thanks for buying the game!"

textrekkie wrote:Ode to MCF 8
(With apologies to Mr. Poe)

Thanksgiving in November dreary, I was tired and so weary,
And yet I felt compelled to leave the nice warm bed where hubby snored.
It was as though a voice was calling, truth be told 'twas Southern drawling
So down the stairs I went, not stalling, knowing what I'd find in store.
"Must I be so weak", I whispered, "give me strength, I do implore;
I must feed my house of four."

So distinctly I remember, oh so many past Novembers,
When my lovely family members paced around the kitchen floor.
Every year they've wished for dinner, but instead they got thinner,
Treated as if they were sinners, they went to bed, shut their doors.
They went to bed with tummies rumbling, wanting turkey, nothing more.
And they were by me ignored.

Knowing this I still proceeded, all the past mistakes unheeded,
Until my midnight wanderings stopped outside my office door.
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating,
"'Tis Picman once again entreating me my family to ignore,
I can feel resolve retreating, standing at my office door.
He knows I'm weak, just like before."

Hesitating then no longer, knowing that I was no stronger,
I crossed the threshold and started doing what I'd done before;
On the keys I started tapping, world wide web then started mapping
Synapse in my brain were snapping, zapping reason from my core,
"I'll just do the download quickly, then the demo I'll explore--
I'll do these things and nothing more."

Time passed quickly, my eyes were tearing--way too late to cook, I'm fearing.
Yes, I've gone and done again that which I've done so oft before.
And the silence was unbroken but the table held a token,
Not a loving written token, 'cause in it hubby swore and swore.
As I lay there shamed I wondered, if I would hear the voice once more,
And then it said.."Next year order out!"

textrekkie wrote:To all pond fishies everywhere
No matter where you're from
You are all most welcome here
And I know you'll find a chum.

For we are all just fishies here
Swimming to and fro
Trying to leave reality
For just a few hours or so.

Don't matter if you're big or small
Or blonde, brunette or red
Don't matter if you're up or down
Alone or taking meds.

For we are all just fishies here
Looking for some space
In here there is no right or wrong
Just kindness to embrace.

So won't you come and swim with us?
I hope you know we want you
Just leave your burdens on the shore
Come, be a friend! Woo Woo!

textrekkie wrote:For Mudrock (to the tune of Mr. Sandman)

Mr. Mudrock, bring me a game
I want a goodie and not one that's lame.
Make it an iHOG, Match 3 or TM
I've got some credits I can spend, spend, spend!

Hey there, Mudrock - I'm bored to tears
I've counted on you through all of the years!
So please give me my needed fix...
Mudrock share with me your weekly picks!

textrekkie wrote:To help you celebrate your special day, Haggis I've written a song especially for you. I hope you like it.  Feel free to sing it all day long!

My Place (to the tune of "My Way")

And now, the time has come, to sing a song for all you cretins.
You're here, without consent, I want you gone, without exception.
I've tried to say it nice, pack up your things and hit the highway.
'Cause I don't want you here, this castle's my place.

For two years now, I've begged of you to bugger off, threatened to sue.
And through it all, you've worn me out, peed in my moat, let Nessie out.
Let the record show, you're all psychos and you can sod off!

textrekkie wrote:The Princess and The Lobsters

The sun was shining on the pond,
Shining with all it's might:
It did it's very best to make
The waters clear and bright --
And that was odd, because it was
The middle of the night.

A narwhal named "The Princess"
was swimming to and fro
She was hungry--wanted lobster
But she knew she should forego
Because on several occasions
Picman had told her so.

'O Lobsters, come and swim with me!'
The Princess did call out.
'A pleasant swim, a pleasant talk,
that's what I'm all about!'
No need to worry--I'll protect you,
From all predators, no doubt!'

Out four young lobsters gladly popped,
All eager for the treat--
Their tails were shined, their faces washed,
Their fragrance clean and sweet
They did not stop to think at all
That soon their doom they'd meet.

Four other lobsters followed them,
And yet another four;
And thick and fast they came to mass,
And more, and more, and more --
All swimming through the Big Fish Pond,
And calling out to more.

The Princess took them for a swim--
They swam a mile or so--
And then she rested on a rock,
which was a little low:
And all the lobsters laid around
And waited in a row.

'The time has come,' The Princess said,
'To talk of many things--
Of butter baths and tiaras,
and of many shiny things.
And why this pot is boiling hot
And if SGP has wings.'

'But wait a while,' the lobsters cried,
'Before we have our chat;
For some of us are out of breath,
And all of us are fat!'
'No hurry!' said the Princess,
As she got a larger vat.

'This butter bath', the Princess said,
'Is what you chiefly need--
Some pepper and some salt besides,
Would be very good indeed --
Now, if you're ready, little dears,
I can begin to feed.'

'Are you insane?' the lobsters cried,
Trying to remember their kung fu,
'After all your speeches, that's
A vicious thing to do!'
'O hush, let me rub this butter in,
This hurts me more than you!'

'I weep for you,' the Princess said:
'And deeply sympathize.'
So while with glee she sorted out
Those of the largest size,
She put her fins up to her eyes
And did pretend to cry..

Dear lobsters,' said the Princess,
'We've had a pleasant day!
Shall we be swimming home again? We've been so long away!"
But no answer came to her from anywhere around
And that was understandable
For she had gobbled them all down

textrekkie wrote:All The Mods Are Watching You Now
(Sung to the Tune of Santa Claus is Coming to Town)

You better not swear and don't you be gross.
And don't call complainers 'whiners' in posts.
All the Mods are watching you now.

With yellow backgrounds and locking so swift.
Don't you know they all think their God's gift.
All the Mods are watching you now

There's Donau and there's Flounder
and ArnoStyx and more.
Don't forget 'bout Okeechobee
and Imbrium, of course--Hey!

So CS may suck and development stink.
Just make sure you don't write what you think.
All the Mods are watching you now.

If you're not in their favor,
you'll know it pretty quick.
Doesn't matter if you're right or wrong
you'll pay for typing it!

Oh, you better hide out and find a new site.
Can' t go back there 'cause they banned you for life.
All the Mods are watching you now.