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    Nostalgia ... good and bad

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    orphaned

    Posts : 5844
    Join date : 2014-03-07
    Location : Toronto, Ontario, Canada

    Nostalgia ... good and bad

    Post by orphaned on Tue Dec 30, 2014 11:24 pm

    Hmm... 

    Christmas revolves around the birth of the Christ child.

    A toddler in swaddling portrays ushering in the New Year ....

    And I lost the most important one in my life by feeling, looking and acting as goofy as a picture sent ...


    Thinking about babies so much kicked up two memories from my nursing days -

    --- one always treasured, the other I wish would stay buried .


    The first for anything remains forever.

    I can still see the first baby I had a hand in delivering. 

    Okay, I was only the mom's student nurse but ... the delivering of a healthy beautiful baby is so all inclusive ..

    We all somehow felt the joy and pride as if the wee one were our very own.

    Still have the picture and remember mom's name and baby's too!!   In fact, even met the young mother and child years later ... WOW !!


    A few years later .. as an RN ... the other side of the coin revealed itself.

    Without getting too graphic, the baby was doomed from its tiny arrival.

    The treatment then was putting the wee one in a darkened, quiet room .. no sustenance ... and letting Nature take its course.

    That shook me to my very core ... and still does ...but had always done what I was told and expected of me.

    In this case, any deviation was NOT an option.  But even then, I found a way around this that could ease us both.

    Every chance I would be there .., cooing and stroking  her.  Awareness of my presence may not have been known ..

    But I knew ...

    and no one should die alone!!  Especially a baby whose very birth was an immediate death sentence.

    So every year at this time, while rejoicing at the Christmas birth ... a part of me dies  a little that there was no hope for the other child.



    The condition is known as anencephalic ..... soul crushing for all.

    luvtoread

    Posts : 1147
    Join date : 2012-09-06
    Age : 56
    Location : Johnstown, NY

    Re: Nostalgia ... good and bad

    Post by luvtoread on Wed Dec 31, 2014 4:19 pm

    I have been thinking about this post.

    All I can say is that at least you did not let her die alone.   That really is important.

    Hopefully,  better memories to make in the coming year.

    orphaned

    Posts : 5844
    Join date : 2014-03-07
    Location : Toronto, Ontario, Canada

    Re: Nostalgia ... good and bad

    Post by orphaned on Wed Dec 31, 2014 4:41 pm

    luvtoread wrote:I have been thinking about this post.

    All I can say is that at least you did not let her die alone.   That really is important.

    Hopefully,  better memories to make in the coming year.


    Hope this did not make you too sad ...

    This is the first year ever that I was TOTALLY ALONE IN THE REAL WORLD !!

    Thank God for you wonderful internet friends   Hug Wub Heart   or ... Crazy Stars  

    WOW !!

    there were a few pop-overs (giggle) but mostly.... just puppy and me, and over 1500 dragons  OH!  


    When left alone >>> I think .... God help us all !! EEK!


    and it struck me how one image, concept or word has many meanings even for one person. 

    staggering  when every one else may have the same experience ..


    Life has so many possibilities ...

    How we view the world and what happens to us in it IS up to us !!

    I am a bona fide, dyed in the wool, certified (certifiable??) smartass !!

    Have always chosen the funny  in every situation ... much to others' shock at times ..

    When mom first died and my brother came over >>>>  my first words were "you do realize we are now orphans ??"

    not what he expected ...  but it eased things somehow .. and was how I really felt


    hence my name ..


    orphaned I am ..... so I must DEAL with it !!


    ***  at least I am not abandoned !!! LOL!!

    well .. he just left

    djrum

    Posts : 1073
    Join date : 2013-08-12
    Location : Ohio

    Re: Nostalgia ... good and bad

    Post by djrum on Wed Dec 31, 2014 11:52 pm

    Oh my goodness, I don't even know what to say.

    orphaned, I think you are an angel, for staying with that little baby girl so she wouldn't be alone.

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