The Stamp Collector
A middle aged man and woman meet, fall in love, and decide to get married.
On their wedding night they settle into the bridal suite at their hotel and the bride says to her new groom, "Please promise to be gentle,... I am still a virgin."
The startled groom says "How can that be? You've been married 3 times before."
The bride responds...
"Well you see it was this way: My first husband was a psychiatrist and all he ever wanted to do was talk about it."
"My second husband was a gynecologist and all he ever wanted to do was look at it."
"And my third husband was a stamp collector and all he ever wanted to do was.................God I miss him!"
A lawyer recently married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.
On their wedding night, the wife tells her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.”
“What?” said the puzzled groom. “How can that be? You’ve been married ten times?”
“Well, the wife replies, Husband #1 was a sales rep. He kept telling me how great it was going to be.”
“Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he’d look into it and get back to me.
“Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn’t get the system up.”
“Husband #4 was in telemarketing. And, even though he knew he had the order, he didn’t know when he would be able to deliver.
“Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process but wanted three years to do research, implementation, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
“Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn’t sure whether it was his job or not.
“Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
“Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it.
“Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it.”
“Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was… God! I miss him! But now that I’ve married you, I’m really excited!”
“Good,” said the new husband, “but, why?”
“You’re a lawyer. This time I know I’m gonna get screwed!”